Occupy Your Mind
by icarusofstars
Summary: Being the only two Humans on a ship for a year or two together breeds a special kind of bond. This is a look into the relationship Akima and Korso might have had before the events of the movie. Alphabet based drabble series.
1. A is for Apathy

**A/N:** _I never thought I'd get back into this fandom since it's not the most lively but lately I've gotten a friend who will scream at me about this wonderful movie. When I figured they'd scream at me about this fandom's least popular ship **well** it was a slippery slope. Here's dedicated to them!_

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A man like Korso, who's done the type of things he's done, has to have a certain level of apathy. Apathy towards others, towards his actions, towards the mistakes he's made (oh are those plentiful and the list keeps getting longer), it makes it all easier to handle. He can't forget, he tries to, sometimes, but he can't. So pretending not to care about anything until he nearly believes in his own bullshit himself is the next best thing. Or maybe pretending ranks behind getting drunk off his ass, because things can get easier still, if you're not sober enough to process that your life is just a constant battle of figuring out how to live between a rock and a hard place.

The day the part of him that was bothered when he had to wear apathy like a shield died was the day he watched Earth blow to bits. He'd been a soldier than, anything evil or wicked he'd done was while fighting for the sake of "peace" and survival, for him and his species. He was doing what he had to. He was placing the needs of the many over the need to keep his own soul intact. He hardly stopped to think, didn't allow himself to sit up and dwell in the blood on his hands or the twisting guilt that might come when he woke in the night, hands fisted in his sheets so tightly that his knuckles were white as he tried not to think of battlefields, he'd seen too many battlefields. He was fighting for something back then, he needed to be strong, to not care was the only way he could allow himself to do what he did. One of Humanity's finest, captain Korso, that's what he became, slowly losing all that he was along the way.

But the day it all fell apart he was watching ships blow up, hit by flying debris from the planet he'd fought for tooth and nail. And the apathy that he put on to be able to be the perfect soldier crumbled, he crumbled. What had he allowed himself to do while he fought a war that there was no hope in winning? No hope at all, humanity was finished, over. And now he was stuck with who he really was, all he'd really done, and he was only going to get that much worse. Space wasn't for the weak hearted, it was for the survivors, and if nothing else, Korso had always been a survivor. He didn't intend to stop now. Except this time he was surviving for no one else, nothing else. There was no cause, no great mission, just living out the rest of his days drifting through space in a ship, by himself.

Then the Drej found him, as if they hadn't ruined everything enough, ruined **him** enough. He was doing little else but whatever was needed to keep going, his brutal and basic human need to live winning out against the suffocating urge to drink every last bottle of liquor he had (human made or otherwise) until he just stopped breathing. They wanted help finding the Titan? Humanity's last hope that died when it's creator hid it as far away from Drej reach as possible, in doing so keeping it from the very people the scientist had sought to save with his new age Noah's ark? _**Fine**_ , they could be his guests to follow him around through the void of space till the day he died. They'd never find it because **he** never would (he'd already tried).

But the fools are quite serious, he can tell by the **gun** to his head (Striking a deal with him? Hah, the Drej only know pain and threats. Fine with Korso, he knew the languages of both just as well. He'll be dead anyway the dust settles though, so he'll play along for now, extending his miserable existence for as long as possible).

For his new pointless purpose in life he has to hire a crew to help him man his ship. The first to come is Preed, his second-in-command, a snake in the grass the Drej had sent to work with him on his mission, nothing but a spy to watch his every move. The two never turn their backs on each other for long; the only trust between them given is trusting in the fact that they'd kill each other if it would be beneficial in **any** possible way.

Next comes Gune, the ship's astro-navigator, small and unassuming, easily distracted, but he does his job so Korso could care less about anything else. He only knows about the mission on its face value level, they're going to find the Titan. Not find it so it can be destroyed by the Drej. Whatever story makes him more eager to help is what Korso sticks to.

Then comes the weapon specialist, Stith, she's fierce and aggressive. Just the kind of muscle they'll need as they go about playing the game the Drej are happy to waste resources on. She has a friend, who's also interested in signing up aboard his ship, they arrive to the port where they're docked the day before they set off.

The friend is a Human, something Stith failed to mention, a Human girl, nineteen, straight from the drifter colonies, she wants to sign on as his pilot and he appreciates her moxie, he does. But what he's doing and the hell he'll be going to isn't for a kid. But her bright eyed gaze, optimistic, unfaltering and **brimming** with confidence is the only thing that implies youth that doesn't know they might be in over their head.

She walks with the resolve of a soldier, someone who's seen war. He gives her the chance she's desperate for, she flies like a soldier to (better than most of the shitty ones he knew, anyway, the united military of earth got _desperate_ in the last few years of the war). And there it is the group of people he has to take alongside him on the ride the Drej forced him onto again, being someone's puppet. He was sick of taking orders.

He hasn't been around another Human for more than a few fleeting moments in a few years. They're practically an endangered species now. And most stick to the drifter colonies, there's strength in numbers, even if the colonies are always the target of vicious Drej attacks. But where else would they go to escape them, anyway? Humans are the scum of the universe, drifting in rusting, beaten up metal is the best they can do.

It's a strange experience, to say the least. The girl is strange herself; full of something he hasn't had in a long time, hope. He doesn't know how she keeps it up, having lived on a colony, not the most cheerful place to grow up. And the way she spits the word Drej, vowing she'll help Humanity back from the brink of extinction while vowing the same fate on those who'd put her species in the position in the first place is all he needs to know, to understand that she's suffered much in her short years. All of Humanity has. But her moral strength never once slips, he can't imagine a time in her life when it ever had.

She brings a certain upbeat lightness to the Valkyrie it used to lack in spades. It's refreshing. The world he lives in is short on oxygen and she's a breath of fresh air, sweet and pure, at least compared to him. But anyone could look damn near saintly compared to him.

The months of serving alongside her reveal many parts of who she is to him aside from a new (welcome) change of pace in his life. She collects anything she can find related to Humans, has a tiny hoard in her private quarters. It's a quirk he at first finds baffling, Humans are nothing to get excited over, they're nothing in the grand scheme of anything, in fact. And their past is best left forgotten, better to look forward to the short, bleak future that remains for them then to look into their past that had gotten them to this point. But she loves Humanity, and is unabashed in the fact. Not in a close eyed way where she refuses to see the flaws about her people, but in the way you love anything that isn't perfect. It's almost admirable how much she cares, foolish, but admirable. The harshness of reality will knock the trait from her eventually, he knows.

(She turns twenty on his ship, she doesn't mention her birthday, he knows from her file, but her face lights up when he hands her a CD he's had full of rock music that he hasn't touched in years. It had been doing nothing more than collecting dust with him but he knows she paid a ridiculous amount of money to acquire a CD player recently and one of them might as well put the thing to use. She hugs him before disappearing down the hall, holding her new little piece of history like a lifeline. She leaves behind a thank you drifting between them through the empty space and a warm, almost uncomfortable feeling in his chest as he watches her go. )

They had an actual lead. Shockingly, a real true lead to where the Titan may be. Watching Akima boil over with energy and optimism over the fact is exhausting. Maybe because he knows that if this tip _**were**_ to lead to the actual Titan unlike all the others he had chased alone or with this crew, Humanity's last hope would only be blown to smithereens like their planet had been. She was old enough when it happened to remember the despair of that terrible moment when their species lost it all. He doesn't want her to have to feel it again, only magnified by the feeling of **betrayal** he knows would come when it's revealed who he's working for, eventually. All things have to come to light though. But he wishes that it won't come to light anytime soon. He doesn't want to see that spirit wiped away yet (not ever).

For once in a long time he's feeling guilty, his walls are breaking down. Maybe that's what makes him push her out of the way when the trade for their money and the Andorian's information on the Titan's possible location goes bad. Preed has a big mouth and he wants to break every bone in it when it gets a weapon pointed at Akima. She's a fighter, she can handle herself, and he knows that fact like he knows the back of his hand. But she's too busy breaking a nose to notice one more sound of a plasma ray firing, as gunshot is all around her. When she turns all she sees is Korso hitting the floor, wound in his side bleeding through his black shirt, making it go a shade darker. Her face is the last thing he sees before his vision goes black.

(He wakes up to her tending to him back on the ship, scowling as she knits back together torn flesh. She wants to say a lot, ask a lot, about _why_ he'd done it for her. But she doesn't. Her eyes speak volumes though. She is easy to read. The emotion that comes across the loudest, though she speaks calm and clinically as she recounts what happened after he'd lost consciousness, is worry. Worry for him. Worry she'd have to lose yet another person, relief that she hadn't. Would she be so relieved if she knew who he really was? )

She drifts around the ship like a storm cloud, more subdued than usual after that catastrophe of an event. Maybe she believes that they'll be able to save Humanity a little less now. The logical part of him says _**good**_ , that's good for her, because it's true. Nothing anyone can do will save Humanity now. But another part of him watches the way she acts and hates it. She's a fighter, she shouldn't be giving up, it's not like her. But it's understandable, for that never ending passion of her's to slowly die off. It happened to even the best of them (he'd never been the best of them).

He catches her on the bridge and stands at her side, staring at the stars in silence. She doesn't speak a word but it's written all over her face, as usual, that little bit of doubt. And its better she _doubt_ than be a dreamer, dreamers end up **dead**. But he _cares_ that she's second guessing it all. To see her waver in her faith, even if woefully misplaced, is unnerving.

He grasps her shoulder with a firm but gentle hand and when she turns to look at him, vulnerable and wide eyed, needing reassurance in all she believes in he doesn't say a word. But his eyes are half as soft as his touch and the look is worth a dozen inspiring speeches, her answering smile tells him that much.

(He wishes for his apathy back, it will make how this has to play out so much easier in the end.)


	2. B is for Believing

**A/N:** _I have such muse for these two, they're definitely an otp of mine, love bad sorta broken guys falling for the good girl and her "fixing him" trope, honestly I'm trash, really am. Because although we never see it really aside from the last few scenes he's in, you bet your ass he's fucked up. And you also bet your ass that Akima is beautiful and there for him, okay._

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It's never been easy for her; it's never been easy to stand tall no matter what you're faced with. But Akima does it, she's been doing it since she was a little girl and her Grandmother took her tear-streaked face in soft, wrinkled hands, telling her to never let anything defeat her, tragedy or person. The words had been imprinted into her mind ever since, even this long after the wise woman's passing. Keeping her chin up isn't even a choice, the only other option is to get kicked to the ground and to stay there. She found out long ago that she preferred to kick back.

After a particularly rough run in with some aliens Korso had found it in himself to treat her generously to his personal stash of booze. He could hold his drink well. While he'd become undoubtedly more relaxed since they'd began he hardly even seemed tipsy, let alone drunk, like _she_ was starting to feel. She'd started to slow down on how many sips she took when she began feeling sluggish and giddy all at once. She'd never been a big drinker, her interests were always laying in improving valuable skill sets more than attending the parties that would happen every few months on the colonies, usually to commemorate a lack of Drej attacks.

Still, the conversation has begun to flow more readily and easily between the two, something she's not opposed to. She wouldn't be opposed to the uptick in conversation if she were entirely sober either. She genuinely likes the company of her Captain and the fact that's he's Human doesn't hurt that fact. She'll admit rather openly that if she had to pick between camaraderie with all the extra terrestrials she's surrounded with or a fellow Homo sapien she'll pick her own kind. Not to say she isn't becoming quite fond of the alien inhabitants of the ship as well, except for Preed. But that wasn't for lack of trying to get along with him, he's just taken a very _uncomfortable_ liking to her she won't indulge in any form.

But as Akima gets up to change the song that's playing there's a lull in their steady talking. It's not quite an awkward stretch of silence and not quite a relaxed one either. It's much like the silence of space for a moment, just _there_. It suits her fine, she likes to listen to the words of this song and if she wasn't in company she'd have started dancing to it. As the moment is now, however, she simply walks back to her seat, her head bobbing to the beat of the rock music in replacement of hips that would usually start to sway. She's still almost completely caught up in the ballad when Korso speaks and her eyes drift open to look at him, she hadn't even known she'd closed them.

"Sorry what were you saying?" She has half the mind to look a little guilty about not listening but his shoulders just shake with a deep chuckle like it's coming straight from the bottom of his chest.

"You're really something else, you know that?" Instead of being offended a wide grin spreads across her face and a soft laugh of her own is given.

"Hear that pretty often, if you'd believe it."

"Oh I can, you're not like most people ya' meet anymore, maybe a couple o' years ago but nowadays? You're a **rare** commodity."

"And what kind of commodity would _that_ be?" A quirked, questioning brow and an answering snort from the man.

"Look at you, there's a lot in you, you don't see often these days. But _this_ , mostly."

"Mostly what?" She asks, confused.

"Ability to hold a decent conversation, you just don't see it anymore." The snarky smirk he wears as he leans closer over the cool metal table allows her to hit his arm with a snort.

"I dunno - seems like you and Preed _**love**_ to chat it up, always see you two together. You must have some decent conversations with him."

It's amazing to the young woman that he goes from a relaxed, easy smirk to a snarl so quickly, "He's a prick, I'd launch him out an airlock just as soon as I'd have a drink with him." Ah, at least her feelings about the alien are shared, though it doesn't make much sense to her, to have your second-in-command be someone you can't _stand_. But this is his ship and therefore his business; Preed does his job half decently all in all, despite being, as Korso so nicely phrased it, a prick that gets on everyone's nerves (including even the tenderhearted Gune, at times).

"Who wouldn't?" She leans back into her seat, all blunt honesty as she always seems to be, but blinking lazily, like she was going to fall asleep soon, she probably would. "Glad I can be of help in providing you with some good company."

A new tempo picks up from the speaker in the corner and Akima is only aware of the small change because her foot automatically begins to tap to the new beat. "Korso?"

"Hm?"

"I don't think I ever said it but….thanks."

"For what?" He looks up, bewildered and sounds it to.

"Well for letting me join, for saving my life back there, a couple of weeks ago." She adds the clarification like he won't remember taking the shot for her.

He remembers it with painful clarity. Momentary panic over another person's well being, care he didn't know he was capable of anymore. Then his body moving on its own, that's what he tells himself. It was a knee-jerk reaction, taking a shot for someone else, one remaining hero instinct left over from being a soldier used to protecting Human life from alien threats. But he knows how good he is at ignoring his better instincts and even if his mind had been properly working and there had been more time to think he would've done it again.

"If I remember correctly you've already saved my ass a couple of times. And if I hadn't let you sign on you wouldn't have almost gotten killed in the first place."

"As if I wouldn't be doing something else just as dangerous if I _wasn't_ on this crew?" She had a point there, if she wasn't a member of his crew she'd just be off on the colony fighting back Drej attacks or running around tending to the wounded during them. Probably both at the same time. The new Human condition, their way of life, is constant, never-ending danger. "Least this way I'm making a real difference."

He averts his gaze from meeting hers dead on to staring at the wall behind her, blankly, trying not to think about how many lies he's had to tell her. Trying not to think about how many _more_ lies he'll tell her in the future despite how sick the thought makes him. "Yeah."

"So thanks, you're a good man, Korso."

"I'm not as good as you think I am." His drink is tightly clasped in his hand before he takes a large gulp from it, swallowing down the rest of burning vintage vodka.

The words sound strangely careful, like every syllable of them was heavy on his tongue. The sentence makes her stop short, wondering what he's referring to.

Is he talking about the questionable things they've done to survive? If that's the case they've all got equal amount of dirt on their hands. The final frontier is hostile, especially to their kind; no one can be faulted over doing what was needed to live. He was a soldier once, is he talking about his time on Earth during the **real** time of war, when it **_wasn't_** just rebels here and there but tired acceptance from everyone else? She's not sure, so she's not sure how to respond, but she knows he's wrong.

The man she's seen despite Human faults is good, one of the greatest she's ever met. She'd respected and admired him from the start, now she could honestly say she trusted him with her life. And though she wasn't particularly _**dis**_ trusting she thought herself a good judge of character. Everything he'd done and _is_ doing for their people? The things he'd done for her **personally**? How could he not see himself as good?

"No one's perfect."

"I'm not even close." The words make her frown before she shrugs her shoulders slowly.

"Well-" She slides her hand across the table to brush her fingers across the knuckles of his fist, a small, sweet smile gracing her face, "I believe that you're about half as close as any of us'll get anymore." With that she stands up, starting for the door, feeling too tired to continue on their personal party of two. "And you're good company to, Captain, that's gotta count for something, hmm?"

"It just might." His voice is soft and when she turns as the door opens she thinks she sees something in his gaze she hasn't seen before, but it's gone quick. Like a flickering light as he moves to pour himself another drink. She hesitates in leaving, alcohol addled mind trying to think straight and wonder if she should begin to drift back to her room so _soon_ (they've been talking for hours, time flies by with him).

"G'night, Akima."

His goodbye makes up her mind for her.

"Sweet dreams, Captain."

She doesn't know why he doesn't seem to believe in himself like he does their cause or like she believes in him. But if there's anything she can put her faith in wholeheartedly it's him, so she'll belief enough for the both of them.


	3. C is for Catastrophic

**A/N:** _I wrote this at like. Four am. Hope it's any good. Enjoy._

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This needs to end, he has to tell her. He's not stupid, he sees the way things are slowly changing, developing, into something they shouldn't. Her touch is starting to linger. Her eyes light up when he drops by her station to talk to her at random throughout the day. She's stopped calling him Captain more and more, then Korso to, even occasionally dropping and Joseph rolling off her tongue so nice it could make him shiver. If he's busy working all day to the point where he's hardly the bridge she brings him something to eat and calls it doctor's orders when she makes him sit down to do it properly.

She's becoming a constant presence in his life, one that when it's missing, he seeks out. It's amazing she knows so little about him but is still the one person alive to know him best. He doesn't deserve her. And yet a part of him aches for what she's offering him so clearly. On Earth he was too busy, there was a war to be fought, no time for sentiment, really. He'd never given much thought to ever being domestic like how he feels now without ever having even kissed her. It's amazing, what she's doing to him, and horrifying, what he'd do to her, if she was his. He's not good, no matter what she wants to think. He's rough parts that if she presses too close to might cut her. He wants to hold her anyway.

He thinks it could be just infatuation, he ignores the problem. It gets bigger. Sometimes, on the nights where he can't sleep, he walks through the ship and lingers at her door for a beat too long. Thinks about how it might not make it easier to sleep but how her curled up next to him would feel nice nonetheless. He thinks about what they could be without disaster coming of it, if they'd met in a different time, different place. He thinks about things he's never thought about before, like a ring on the fingers he watches fly them around on a bullshit mission going nowhere. Then he remembers who he is, what he does, and what he's doing. And he tries to forget, he drinks a little more.

She should have something better, she deserves something better. But no matter how few and far in-between they are they'll run into other Humans and she doesn't want any of them. She's still so easy to read, only gets easier everyday, she wants him. Akima isn't a settling sort of girl, it's what she wants or nothing. It's him or nothing. He tries not to feel the same way (he's failing, god he's failing).

They're alone, deep in the jungle of some prehistoric planet, sheltered in a cave for the night. Apparently the place is a lot like Stith's home-world and so she'd gone out to explore it, Gune following faithfully behind her, Preed wanted to piss the weapon specialist off. So here they are, just a fire flickering between them, keeping them apart. And he's grateful, he doesn't trust himself alone and close to her anymore. But then she crawls over to his side, tucking her blanket more firmly around her shoulders and this is all his bad karma coming back to bite him in the ass. Hard.

"What are you doing, kid?"

"Kid? Haven't heard ya' call me that in awhile." She snorts, but doesn't move away, and he needs her to. "It's freezing, Korso, body heat. Or did you forget we produce that since most aliens seem to be cold blooded?" It's a joke but he can't laugh because her head might as well be leaning on his shoulder.

If he wasn't already so deep in dangerous territory he'd say it'd be easier to share heat if there wasn't so many layers between them. But the situation is already pulling him in like quick-sand enough without him baiting her (maybe he's been doing it from the start of this).

"Slipped my mind, I guess." He doesn't move away himself when it's clear she won't. He should, but he doesn't. In fact he shifts closer and tells himself it's cause he's allowing his blanket to cover her smaller form as well. It's logical, as she's shivering, but it's a lie, one of many he's told himself about her (he could warm her up in so many better ways).

"Thanks, Joseph." He tenses, like always when she says his first name. He cant count on his fingers all the times she's done it. This is the tenth time.

"You're calling me that more and more often, Akima." It's not a question, a statement, but she takes it as a question and answers it.

"You've called me Akima since we've met." He can't say it's different, it's not, really. The lines between what they are have been blurry from the start. Boss and employee, friends, inspiration, something more, they're complicated.

"But you've called me Captain and Korso."

"Things change." She doesn't say it but he hears an underlying 'we've changed' in her words. He makes the mistake of looking at her just to find her staring up at him.

If he does this it can't be casual, he won't be able to tell himself it means nothing. But she's sitting too close and looking tempting as ever and his self control has been waning for months.

She's in the middle of saying something when he leans down, pressing their lips together. There's a pause, one moment of hesitation as his lips slide against her softer ones without a bit of gentleness in them. It's the moment where for once, she might see what she's getting into with him. He wants her to shove him off. He wants her to turn around and never look at him like he has all the answers again. He wants her to do anything. He just plain wants her. It's selfish to want to have her, but he's never been self sacrificing, not for a long time, maybe not ever. So he needs her to make the choice for them, the right one. The one where they both walk out of this only wondering what could've been and not why they did it. Wondering is better than knowing, in this case he's sure.

Her hands drop from being frozen in the air to cover the larger ones that cup her face, pulling her close. As if to check they're really there. Then despite thinking she's one of the brightest people he's ever met she's kissing him back with just as much force, arms flying to wrap around his neck and tug him down further and this is plain stupid. If she can't make the right choice he could stop being a coward and tell her it all. He could be a coward completely and just run away. She bites his lip when he slows down against her and fuck running away. She'd just chase after him.

They're going to crash and burn one day and the only way she'll be saying his name is with a curse following it. But right now she's only breathing his name out sweetly against his skin and the fire that'll burn them up is only keeping them warm. One day this is going to be the worst damn thing that ever happened to them. One day they might hate each other (she'll hate him, the only way he can hate her is for making him feel again). For now they're only a taste of heaven in a reality that's nothing but hell. He'll take this moment, he'll take her. Catastrophe be damned.


End file.
